I knew this day was coming. A month ago, at my last appointment, I had been sent home with a special drink. A drink I was to consume 45 minutes before today's appointment. I had heard horror stories about this drink, but was determined that I would be different. That this drink would not get the best of me. That surely, I would be the one to taste it and say, "Yum, that wasn't bad at all."
Yeah, not so much. It wouldn't be so bad if you could drink it on a full stomach. But combining the drink with a fast? That's just some sort of torture that should be kept for hard core felons, not women who are pregnant. It was one of the worst tasting drinks I've ever had. It was like a combination of that orange drink you get at McDonald's and about 8 extra cups of sugar.
Then, to top it off, you get to be poked by a needle and have blood taken from your body. Because you haven't done enough yet. I can only hope, that when they call tomorrow with the results, they will tell me I'm done. That the test for gestational diabetes came back fine and I'm good to go, because truthfully? I don't think I could down that stuff again. Let's all just keep our fingers crossed, k?
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Panic
Those of you who know me, know that I like to be ready for anything. When it comes to teaching, I almost always over plan my lessons, ending up, at the end of the day, with activities to carry over to the next day. That's fine with me, as I'd rather have too much to do, than not enough.
When it comes to taking trips, again, I always make a list of anything and everything that I may need to have. Upset stomach? No problem, I remembered to bring Pepto-Bismol. Adding an extra day to the trip? No problem, I have extra clothes to spare.
However, with all of my extra preparedness for all aspects of my life, something tells me that I will never be fully prepared to be a parent. People keep telling me, "Don't worry, you'll do fine. You'll figure it all out as you go." I think they expect this to give me comfort, but it doesn't really. How can you be successful at something that you really aren't fully prepared for? Sure, you can buy all the necessary "stuff" and have a nursery full of clothes that the baby will probably only wear once before they outgrow them. You can take the childbirth class and read parenting books and ask others for advice. But you can't truly be fully prepared because parenting is different for every person.
Last night as I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep, this all hit me. How on earth are we going to pull this off? Are we ready? No! We're still learning to survive ourselves! Needless to say, a little bit of panic hit...okay, a lot of panic hit. What are we thinking? We aren't ready to be parents! We're still in need of our parents. We have to be responsible for another human life? Are you crazy??
Thankfully, I did the one thing that tends to calm me down. I started praying. I prayed for peace of mind. I prayed that God would continually remind me, however He chooses, that He will not give us more than we can handle. That I would always know that His grace is sufficient to help us navigate the curvy road of parenthood. I prayed that He would put people in our life to help us figure everything out.
Finally, I opened up my Bible and turned to Philippians. This is the book that we're studying with our small group currently. I read through chapter 3 and then when I got to chapter 4, I was reminded of this unwavering truth:
Philippians 4:6-7 (from The Message) - "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
Feeling panic is perfectly natural and doesn't make you less of a person. What I realized last night is how you choose to handle that panic that makes the difference. I choose to let God be in control.
When it comes to taking trips, again, I always make a list of anything and everything that I may need to have. Upset stomach? No problem, I remembered to bring Pepto-Bismol. Adding an extra day to the trip? No problem, I have extra clothes to spare.
However, with all of my extra preparedness for all aspects of my life, something tells me that I will never be fully prepared to be a parent. People keep telling me, "Don't worry, you'll do fine. You'll figure it all out as you go." I think they expect this to give me comfort, but it doesn't really. How can you be successful at something that you really aren't fully prepared for? Sure, you can buy all the necessary "stuff" and have a nursery full of clothes that the baby will probably only wear once before they outgrow them. You can take the childbirth class and read parenting books and ask others for advice. But you can't truly be fully prepared because parenting is different for every person.
Last night as I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep, this all hit me. How on earth are we going to pull this off? Are we ready? No! We're still learning to survive ourselves! Needless to say, a little bit of panic hit...okay, a lot of panic hit. What are we thinking? We aren't ready to be parents! We're still in need of our parents. We have to be responsible for another human life? Are you crazy??
Thankfully, I did the one thing that tends to calm me down. I started praying. I prayed for peace of mind. I prayed that God would continually remind me, however He chooses, that He will not give us more than we can handle. That I would always know that His grace is sufficient to help us navigate the curvy road of parenthood. I prayed that He would put people in our life to help us figure everything out.
Finally, I opened up my Bible and turned to Philippians. This is the book that we're studying with our small group currently. I read through chapter 3 and then when I got to chapter 4, I was reminded of this unwavering truth:
Philippians 4:6-7 (from The Message) - "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
Feeling panic is perfectly natural and doesn't make you less of a person. What I realized last night is how you choose to handle that panic that makes the difference. I choose to let God be in control.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Amazing
It all started last Monday. Jeremy and I were waiting for the cable guy to finish hooking up our cable. We've always had cable, but in an effort to save money and better our package, we were changing to a different cable provider. The cable guy was downstairs fiddling around with wires and stuff, so Jeremy and I were hanging out upstairs, I was reading and Jeremy was messing around with Molly.
All of the sudden, there it was. There was no mistaking it, I had just been dealt a swift kick, a blow to my internal organs. I quickly called Jeremy over and he placed his hand on top of my stomach, patiently hoping she would move again. His waiting paid off and sure enough, he was treated to feeling his little girl make another swift kick. We both just grinned and of course there was a comment made about how she was just practicing her soccer moves.
It was, by far, one of the most amazing moments of my life. There was no mistaking it. She's there, she's moving, and come October, we'll get to meet this amazing little person. Since Monday, she has made moving around a regular part of my day. She was especially active in church on Sunday, which made it a little hard for me to focus. This is truly a time in our life that I hope we always remember.
All of the sudden, there it was. There was no mistaking it, I had just been dealt a swift kick, a blow to my internal organs. I quickly called Jeremy over and he placed his hand on top of my stomach, patiently hoping she would move again. His waiting paid off and sure enough, he was treated to feeling his little girl make another swift kick. We both just grinned and of course there was a comment made about how she was just practicing her soccer moves.
It was, by far, one of the most amazing moments of my life. There was no mistaking it. She's there, she's moving, and come October, we'll get to meet this amazing little person. Since Monday, she has made moving around a regular part of my day. She was especially active in church on Sunday, which made it a little hard for me to focus. This is truly a time in our life that I hope we always remember.
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