Panic

Those of you who know me, know that I like to be ready for anything. When it comes to teaching, I almost always over plan my lessons, ending up, at the end of the day, with activities to carry over to the next day. That's fine with me, as I'd rather have too much to do, than not enough.

When it comes to taking trips, again, I always make a list of anything and everything that I may need to have. Upset stomach? No problem, I remembered to bring Pepto-Bismol. Adding an extra day to the trip? No problem, I have extra clothes to spare.

However, with all of my extra preparedness for all aspects of my life, something tells me that I will never be fully prepared to be a parent. People keep telling me, "Don't worry, you'll do fine. You'll figure it all out as you go." I think they expect this to give me comfort, but it doesn't really. How can you be successful at something that you really aren't fully prepared for? Sure, you can buy all the necessary "stuff" and have a nursery full of clothes that the baby will probably only wear once before they outgrow them. You can take the childbirth class and read parenting books and ask others for advice. But you can't truly be fully prepared because parenting is different for every person.

Last night as I laid in bed, trying to fall asleep, this all hit me. How on earth are we going to pull this off? Are we ready? No! We're still learning to survive ourselves! Needless to say, a little bit of panic hit...okay, a lot of panic hit. What are we thinking? We aren't ready to be parents! We're still in need of our parents. We have to be responsible for another human life? Are you crazy??

Thankfully, I did the one thing that tends to calm me down. I started praying. I prayed for peace of mind. I prayed that God would continually remind me, however He chooses, that He will not give us more than we can handle. That I would always know that His grace is sufficient to help us navigate the curvy road of parenthood. I prayed that He would put people in our life to help us figure everything out.

Finally, I opened up my Bible and turned to Philippians. This is the book that we're studying with our small group currently. I read through chapter 3 and then when I got to chapter 4, I was reminded of this unwavering truth:

Philippians 4:6-7 (from The Message) - "Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

Feeling panic is perfectly natural and doesn't make you less of a person. What I realized last night is how you choose to handle that panic that makes the difference. I choose to let God be in control.